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Bisexuality Defined
for those of you who are confused or have no clue

Bisexual: A person who finds other individuals attractive for reasonsnot including what kind of genitals they have. A person who falls in love with someone regardless of the accident of the other person's gender.

Clarification: Bisexuals are not "just confused" or "people whodon't know what they really want." So stop dishing out this monosexistbullshit to me.

Okay, I know there are cases of people exploring their sexuality, people who think that they might be homosexual but aren't sureyet, and temporarily define themselves as bisexual while they figurethemselves out. But that doesn't mean all people who call themselves bi are "really fags and dykes who just don't want to admit it yet." People can call themselves whatever the hell they want and be exploringtheir sexuality. I know people who've called themselves homosexualbecause they wanted to explore same-sex relationships, and then laterdecided they didn't like it and went to calling themselves straight (and vice versa).Were they never really homosexual? Are they really straight? I don'tknow. I don't really care actually. Humans are sexual beings and we will do our fair share of exploring regardless of what we labelourselves.

All my life, whether I wanted to admit it or not, I have had crushes on,felt attracted to, and fallen in love with members of both sexes. Thefact that the last person I was attracted to was male does not invalidatethe fact that at one time I had really serious feelings for a female.And if the next person I fall for is female, that's not going to invalidatethe fact that I had also loved a male. My feelings are real. How wouldyou like it if I told you that your feelings, attractions, etc. weren'treal?

But that's what many people do when I tell them I'm bi. Maybe I shouldn'tsay I'm bi, but it's so far been the best word to describe my sexual leaningsthat I can find, and people don't seem satisfied with something unlessI can label it.

What really pisses me off is that a majority of people who I have heardtalking about how "fake" bisexuals are are homosexuals–politicallyactive homosexuals who are working for their civil rights. Let meask you something, folks: How fucking dare you tell me I have no rightto love someone I want to love, call myself what I want to call myself,and tell me my feelings and experiences are invalid, when that'sexactly the kind of treatment you're protesting? How dareyou say you get to have those rights and I don't?

I used to be under the impression that gays and bis were supposed to be working together against homophobia–after all, we too lovemembers of our own gender. But it seems we're not welcomeanywhere, because we're "halfway the bad guy."

Ironically, more straight people have been supportive of my sexualitythan gays I've met–though of course I have had the "faker" speechfrom straights too. And straights who aren't supportive canbe a lot more hurtful in their response. Homophobia is scary. AND I'vehad several gay friends who were very supportive and considered mea sister in the battle for LGTB rights.

It comes down to this: no one should be discriminated against becauseof who they love, same-sex, opposite sex, multi-sex, whatever. No oneshould be told "they're just confused, they're not real, they'll getover it." No one should be created or destroyed by a mere label.No one should be dehumanized and demeaned because they lovesomeone. Love is not fake, and it is never, ever a sin.And until ALL of us learn to serve witness to this, the hurtingand hatred will continue.

Think about it, brothers and sisters. And go and love one another.


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All original materials © 2003 R. Pickard