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Calling on the Inner Punk
Self-pity is evil. It just sneaks up on you and starts whining at you in your ear, and you find yourself listening to it before you know it. You brain enters that ridiculous cycle of "Why Me?" because it's easier to sit around and think something's wrong with you when it's really just that sometimes the world just sucks and there's nothing you can do about it. It's not your fault and it's not anybody else's fault. It just is. We are bizarre creatures that would rather sit around and call ourselves losers and throw grenades at our self-esteem than just face the ickiness of the world, accept it, and move on to finding something in life to enjoy instead. We seem to think we'll get more attention the first way. But I know my friends probably just want to kick my ass when I sit there moping about what a horrible annoying person I am... because that is when I'm horrible and annoying. I am incredibly appreciative of my friends who do threaten to kick my ass when Self-Pity takes over. I need that sometimes.
A friend of mine once mentioned that he was training his Inner Punk to beat up his Self-Pity. I really like that idea. I think the problem is that before I had trained my inner punk to help out Self-Pity. "You pathetic wanker!" says my Inner Punk to me. "Get a bloody life." But it's just a matter of convincing the Punk to realize that the real cause of the problem is Self-Pity, not me. My Inner Punk can't stand whiners. Once I stop whining, I think she'll get the idea. Once we've established a rapport, we can go out and kick more ass together (nonviolently, of course). Maybe we could even form a rock band.
I look forward to hearing comments or suggestions on summoning the Inner Punk, or your own stories about battling the Urge Wyrm of Self-Pity. Thanks.
All original materials © 2003 R. Pickard